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Perfectionism

perfectionism therapy with rachel dorneanu

Say you’ve spent all week on a project, submitted it for approval, and it has red marks all over it.

Not only are you upset, you may feel devastated.

Maybe your self worth is wrapped up in academics or your work life.

Constantly needing to do better, be better, and succeed gracefully (even if only on the outside). You’re not alone in this.

Do you sometimes ask yourself, “Am I a Perfectionist?” or say “Why would I even try to speak up? I’ll sound dumb.”

Maybe you feel a pressure to keep up with The Jones’.

Others may have said you have a need to people please.

Looking for a perfectionism therapist for online sessions or in Alpharetta?

What can perfectionism look like?

  • Idea of being perfect/without flaws
  • Impossibly high standards (for self and/or others). These standards are unrealistic and unattainable
  • Never being disagreeable
  • Proving ourselves over and over again
  • Being hard on ourselves
  • Burnout
  • Not asking for help
  • Fear and anxiety, maybe even imposter syndrome
  • No risk-taking
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    As a recovering perfectionist, I tend to resonate with having high standards and being hard on myself.

    Maybe you’ve said to yourself “If I’m not exhausted by the end of my day, I didn’t do enough.” or “I have to exceed everyone’s expectations to prove myself.”

    What can perfectionism affect?

    • Professional success
    • Parenting
    • Physical appearance
    • Academic success
    • Athletic ability/fitness goals
    • Physical environment
    • Lifestyle

    Possible fears you might have

    • Failure
    • Success
    • Rejection
    • Embarrassment
    • Not being liked
    • Being alone
    • Trying new things

     

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    stressed perfectionist online therapy

    Are you also a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)? Perfectionism and HSP traits can be linked for some people.

    What change can look like:

    • being kinder to yourself
    • setting realistic expectations for yourself and others
    • less bullying in your head
    • changing your mindset to be more realistic with various life situations
    • working to lessen the unhelpful parts of perfectionism like avoidance or the strict rules for your life, that you made up in your head
    • asking for help before you drown in your workload
    • setting healthy boundaries for yourself and with others
    • less bottled up frustration
    • letting go of the badge of honor of “being perfect”

    What can I expect in sessions?

    First, you will attend a 80 minute intake session where we’ll explore your background history and we’ll set some tentative goals. Then we’ll schedule out a few future 50 minute sessions to start working on your goals. 

    Sessions will occur online as we explore your concerns, possibly using books/workbooks or creative means, process life together, and at times have homework to make sure your new skills stick. 

    It may take time, but the changes are worth it. It took years to set these expectations in place, let’s work to make sure your thoughts and actions feel more reasonable for you. We’ll overcome your perfectionism together.

    Want a bit more info about perfectionism? Watch my video here! 

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