Mental Health in Motherhood: Common Struggles and How to Cope

This post may contain affiliate links, which means we may receive a commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. Please see our full disclosure https://sagecounselingtherapyandwellness.com/disclosure-privacy-policy-terms-of-use/ for further information.

In May, we celebrate the hard work, dedication, and bravery that all mothers put into raising their children. Raising children is no easy task, and for many, parenting and motherhood can raise mental health concerns [1]. While we celebrate mothers this month, let’s also acknowledge the many struggles and conditions that are common among mothers, as well as the coping mechanisms they employ to endure them. Keep reading to learn more!

“Mom Guilt” [2]

Many mothers experience a persistent sense of guilt about not being the “perfect mom.” They may be doing everything they can to tend to their child’s needs, being kind to their child, and raising them with proper morals, but still feel like they are not doing enough. This may be due to comparison to “super moms” they see on social media, who seemingly have it all together. It can also be due to an automatic strive for perfectionism common among women [3], who are pressured by society to fit a perfect mold of what a mother “should” be. For example, mothers tend to be frowned upon for putting their children in daycare while they work instead of giving up their career to take care of them full-time. This public shame may make working moms feel guilty for not being present with their child throughout every part of the day. It is important to note, though, that valuing other aspects of your life and ensuring financial stability is part of being a good mother, and this is not something mothers should be shamed for. Despite this knowledge, though, many women still struggle with “mom guilt” and fear that they are not enough for their child. 

• Ways to Cope: Remember that you are human. Everyone makes mistakes, has bad days, and has limits. Remind yourself of this often, and instead of guilting yourself for every pitfall, focus on your wins as a mom [4]. You can even write your accomplishments or the positive things that happened throughout the day in a notebook so you can read back on them at the end of the week as reminders of all you are doing well!

Burnout

Being a mom is hard. Children, especially when young, need their parents at almost all times of the day for food, bathing, and companionship. Constantly being pulled in all directions by your child can lead to a serious case of burnout, or a state of mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion resulting from excess stress. Burnout can be especially pertinent if you are raising your child on your own, your partner works full-time, or you have other responsibilities that take up a great deal of your time. This can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns [5].  

Ways to Cope: Organize and prioritize. If you are on a tight schedule, plan ahead of time how you will complete all your tasks, or delegate and pull in a friend, grandparent, or babysitter to help take care of the kids when you are busy. Likewise, you should be prioritizing self-care and incorporating it into your schedule. Taking that extra 10 minutes in the bath, cooking yourself a healthy meal, or fitting a yoga workout into your routine will be well worth it. Simple self-care tasks like these will help you feel refreshed and ready to take on the rest of your day.

Postpartum Mental Health Disorders

Mothers may experience postpartum mental health conditions, like postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum psychosis, and postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) [6], which can make it difficult to connect with their children [7]. Feelings surrounding these disorders may lead to guilt about not being fully present for your child. They also may lead you to feel ashamed for not being joyous during a time that is “supposed” to be happy. 

• Ways to Cope: If you feel as though you may be struggling with a postpartum mental illness, seeking professional help is the best way to cope. A mental health professional can give you expert advice on how to cope with and treat this condition. Likewise, talking to other mothers who have experienced a postpartum mental illness may help you feel less alone.  

Loneliness and Loss of Identity [9]

Motherhood can take up a lot of your time, and it’s easy to get into a routine where every moment is dedicated to your child. Although you are spending time connecting with your child, you may also be neglecting your needs and isolating yourself from the life you once led. For example, giving up your hobbies, aspirations, and relationships can lead to feelings of loneliness and loss of identity. You may forget who you are besides being a mom, or even lose the relationships with friends that brought you joy. 

• Ways to Cope: Continue to strengthen your relationship with others and yourself. Although spending time cultivating a strong relationship with your child is important, your other relationships shouldn’t be forgotten about. Dedicate time to spend with loved ones and check in with yourself. Are there hobbies or interests that you have thrown away after becoming a mother? Try to bring some of those back, if possible. For example, if you used to enjoy creative art projects before you became a mother, try to spend at least an hour a week doing something creative, like painting or crocheting. You can even include your child in this activity and create art alongside them!

Body Image Issues

Pregnancy and childbirth change the body’s physical appearance, which is something many women struggle to accept. In fact, over half of them reported feeling dissatisfied with their body during and after pregnancy [10]. This can lead to decreased self-esteem, energy levels, and mental well-being [11].

• Ways to Cope: Prioritize your health, but be gentle with yourself. It’s great to get back into a routine of eating healthy and exercising, but give yourself some grace when it comes to the pressure you put on yourself to “get back” to what your body looked like before giving birth. There is no such thing as the “ideal” body. As long as you are putting in effort to take care of your body and remain healthy, there’s no need to pressure or compare yourself! If you find yourself struggling, reduce your likelihood of comparing yourself to others by staying off social media. 

Motherhood comes with many struggles, but there are ways to cope with and manage them in pursuit of mental wellness. Take small steps and remain patient with yourself—you’ve got this!

To discuss how therapy could help you during this season of your life, please contact me or schedule your free 15-minute consultation.

Want to read more? Here are a few of my related blog posts you may be interested in checking out!