How to be Single and Date During COVID 19
Written by: Tracy Gaboyau, Social Media Management Intern
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There’s no doubt that the Covid-19 pandemic has had diverse effects on our social battery, and our desire to get to know and be intimate with others. For example you might be feeling more inclined to be vulnerable in an effort to build relationships, or you might have decided to take this increase in alone time as a chance to get to know yourself and discover your likes and your dislikes.
Both of these are completely valid, given that there really are no set guidelines to dating in a pandemic, especially during such a virtual age. However, whether you’ve been trying to date and have had no luck, or whether you prefer remaining single during a time where so much is changing, it must be said that there is nothing wrong with being single.
Being single isn’t a bad thing. If anything, being single is an opportunity to get to know yourself and grow as an individual before going out and finding a possible partner to share your life with. Also, keep in mind that being single isn’t the same thing as being alone. While you may not be waking up to that “Good Morning text” from your significant other, your friends and family love you just as much in or out of a relationship. That love and connection is still there, even if not romantically.
Everyone has needs, whether they are emotional or physical, and the best way to set yourself up for a successful relationship is to learn what your needs are, and learn how you can satisfy them on your own before dating someone with their own needs involved. However cliché, it still remains true, if you can’t love yourself, how are you going to love anyone else?
The best way to practice self love while being single and shift your perspective on your future relationships is by treating yourself the way you would treat someone that you were head over heels for. Would you buy them flowers, make them nice dinners, or even leave them sweet messages? Do those things for yourself as well! Truth be told, when you find your partner, your self-love and deep sense of comfort with yourself will only make it easier to connect and build a solid foundation with them. Consider looking into some of these workbooks for self love like this one and this one.
While it is natural to change and evolve as a person in a committed relationship, you should never feel like you are losing yourself in the other person, or at least tossing all of your priorities out the window for the sake of security. Being single allows you to set your priorities straight and evaluate your limits and boundaries before anyone has the chance to loosen or change your goals. Before going into any relationships you should, as Dr. Lauri Mintz, psychologist and author has mentioned, “talk to a friend that you trust about it, examine your values, examine your comfort level, examine your feelings of safety, and make the best decision possible for yourself.”
It’s also important to ask yourself whether you are pursuing a relationship for the sake of not being alone, or for the sake of gaining a partner in life. However amazing it might be, being in a relationship is not necessarily easy. In order to have a successful relationship, you have to be vulnerable, you have to love yourself, and you have to be patient. This patience can look like learning who you are in a relationship, what you like and don’t like, as well as the other person’s preferences. Spending everyday with someone can be tricky if you don’t get to learn who they really are, what makes them tick, and what their love language might be.
Truth be told, the pandemic has been really hard on couples. With the majority of new relationships starting virtually as a result of the pandemic, couples have had to get creative in finding ways to connect without putting their health at risk. If you’ve found yourself in a similar situation, you might be inclined to try some of these:
- Host a Backyard Movie Night
- Plan a Picnic in the Park
- Go Kayaking/ Canoeing
- Visit Bike Trails
- Master a Recipe at Home
All in all, whether you’re choosing to go solo or you have a dating app open while reading this blog post, the choice has always been and will always be yours. If you are using dating apps, don’t forget to use proper precautions and be safe. People can hide a lot of things on a virtual platform, so be vigilant and remember that not everyone is as kind hearted as you. Besides that, have fun! Whether you’re single or committed, your life is what you make it. Practice self care and take better care of you.
To discuss how therapy could help you during this season of your life, please contact me or schedule your free 15 minute consultation.
Want to read more? Here are a few of my related blog posts you may be interested in checking out!
– “How To Identify Relationship Green and Red Flags”
Resources
Becoming Cliterate by psychologist Dr. Laurie Mintz
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-be-happy-single
Check out some of the items mentioned in the blog post above, along with a few extra goodies we think you’ll love!
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