How to Prepare to Move Out as a Teen/Young Adult

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Leaving home —- it’s the time in life many teens and young adults look forward to for years. It means no more curfew, rules, and arguments with siblings and parents. It means freedom to choose your grocery list, home decor, and who you can have over. It means independence. Many may be excited about this change of pace and newfound independence. However, many may feel terrified of it. And, most will feel a mix of both. Whether worried, excited, or a mix of the two, we have got you covered with a guide on how to prepare effectively for living away from home for the first time and navigating all the feelings that come with it. 

Anxiety of the Unknown

Before we jump right into tips for preparation, let’s first delve into the anxiety you are likely feeling, whether minor or tremendous. Leaving home and living away from your family, especially for the first time, can feel like being thrown out into the wilderness and having to fend for yourself. Although a college campus or first apartment isn’t exactly the same as a dangerous forest, it can still feel like one —- with its unfamiliar areas, brand new responsibilities, and surrounding strangers.

As humans, we inherently fear the unknown. It’s what has protected us from potentially unsafe situations in the past—the anxiety we face when in unfamiliar situations is meant to protect us from getting hurt. Of course, many of us don’t feel fearful of getting seriously hurt on an enclosed college campus or in a security-protected apartment, but we can be fearful of getting “hurt” in other ways, like feeling socially isolated and making no new friends, feeling homesick and depressed, or even feeling incompetent and unable to take care of yourself on your own. These anxieties are all normal. Rest assured, nobody knows what they are doing at the start of living on their own —- we just figure it out along the way until we find a routine that works. And, you will too. But, in the meantime, here are some tips that will help you ease into the transition and avoid unnecessary anxieties:

1. Preparing Emotionally for this Change:

You will likely not be able to truly embrace and enjoy your move if you haven’t processed your emotions properly. Take some time to meditate, journal, and think deeply about this transitional time in your life. Acknowledge the emotions that are coming with this change, both good and bad, and sit with them. Some emotions many are likely to feel when moving out are: 

• Anxiety 
• Excitement 
• Negativity
• Optimism
• Nostalgia 
• Irritability 
• Happiness 
• Overwhelm

Notice how many of these emotions conflict with one another. You may be under the impression that you can’t feel happy and irritable, or optimistic and overwhelmed, at the same time. However, this is not only possible — it is likely. Work on sitting with the conflicting emotions and accepting them, rather than dwelling on the negative ones, or trying to push them away and only feel the positive ones. For example, some mantras of acceptance include: 

• “I feel anxious about all the responsibilities I will face, AND excited to decorate my dorm room.” 

• “I feel nostalgic about the memories I have with friends I will be leaving behind when I move, AND optimistic about making new friends.” 

• “I feel irritable from the stress I am facing about moving, AND happy about having a new space to settle into.”

2. Taking Practical Steps

This is where more actionable steps come in. You’ve accepted your emotions, both positive and negative, and are ready to do some things that will ease your mind and make your move easier. Some steps we recommend are: 

• Making a packing checklist: Creating a list of items you know you’ll need to pack or purchase before making your move is always a good idea, not only because you’ll need these items in the long run, but also because it’ll help “organize your mind.” Part of why you may be feeling overwhelmed may be because you have countless responsibilities and needs bouncing around your mind, but you feel unable to pinpoint what needs to get done first. Writing (or typing) out a list of things you need to get, do, or figure out, can help categorize the jumbled mess in your mind and calm you down. 

• Planning your budget: Finances can also be a huge cause of stress when living on your own. Figure out how much you spend in a month currently, and how much you anticipate spending once you move out. Don’t forget to factor in rent, utilities, groceries, appointments, and fun activities. Once you have an idea of what you must spend on the necessities each month, you can create a monthly budget that you will try to adhere to.
• Researching your new area: If you can visit your new residence and surrounding area before you move in, take advantage of this! Go on a little self-guided tour and point out a few spots that look intriguing — maybe a restaurant you’d like to try, a park that looks nice to walk around in, or a cafe you can go to for coffee in the morning. If you are touring your new college campus, keep an eye out for your future class buildings, common areas, and peaceful-looking places on campus. If you cannot visit your new living area in person, do some research on Google for cool spots to check out once you get there!
• Connecting with future roommates/peers: Although you may be “living by yourself” for the first time, meaning not living with family, many teens and young adults don’t live fully on their own — they live with roommates. For those who will be sharing their space with a roommate or a few roommates, reach out to them ahead of move-in day and get to know them a bit! This could be through texting, calling/facetiming, or even planning a lunch where you can talk and learn about each other. You may find out that you and your future roommate have similar hobbies and interests in activities you can soon do together, or that you two have similar worries that you can bond over. Meeting the people you’ll be seeing a lot once you move in can help ease the anxiety of the unknown and even instill a sense of excitement to spend more time with them once you move in!

3. Building Healthy Habits: Eventually, you will have to take on the habits and tasks that your family may have done for you or helped you do while you live at home. For example, if you are used to having your parents cook dinner for you each night, this is something you should practice doing on your own. Even if you are just making simple meals at first, like sandwiches, salads, or air-fryer meals, this is the start of taking care of yourself! You will also want to keep track of your habits and make sure that chores get done on time. You may feel relieved to not have your parents nagging you to clean your room or do the dishes constantly, but you’d be surprised how fast dishes pile up and a room becomes overwhelmingly messy when you don’t have someone reminding you to do your chores. Keep a chore list and remind yourself of your responsibilities, so that healthy habits form! 

4. Making Social Connections: It is easy to get lonely when moving to a new place unless you make an effort to create and maintain social connections. Instead of focusing fully on getting your new space decorated and spending time alone sorting things out, make social connection a priority. Introduce yourself to your new neighbors and suggest that you get together for a meal sometime soon. If someone on your dorm floor seems interesting, don’t be afraid to say hello to them and ask them to hang out. And, of course, keep up with old friends through regular texts, calls, and visits. This will make it easier to stay connected and harder to become socially isolated, which can lead to depression. 

5. Seeking Support: Even if you follow all the former steps, moving out can still be a struggle. It is no secret that living on your own for the first time is hard, and there is nothing wrong with needing a little extra help and support during this time. Do not ever hesitate to let a trusted individual know that you are struggling, and feel inclined to see a therapist or counselor to help you manage your emotions and work through your concerns. 

We know moving out can be difficult, but these steps for preparation will hopefully have you feeling adjusted in time! 

To discuss how therapy could help you during this season of your life, please contact me or schedule your free 15-minute consultation.

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