How to Help Your Kids With Finals and Stay Calm While Doing It

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Finals season is a stressful time for students. During these few weeks, there is an influx of assignments, projects, and exams, all on top of the student’s regular responsibilities. That’s a lot to handle. Being the parent of a student going through finals season is a big responsibility, as well. Parents often experience an emotional toll solely from worrying about the pressure their child is facing. Although they aren’t the ones taking the tests, finals season can create a tense energy throughout the whole house, potentially leading to parent-child conflicts. Whether your main concern is your student’s mental well-being, how their performance will affect their future, or the overall harmony of your household, finals season can be challenging for parents and children alike. So, how do you keep the peace in your home while supporting your child? Keep reading to learn more about how to handle this tricky situation. 

What might finals season look like for your child and for you?

If you haven’t experienced your child working through finals season just yet, you may feel confused as to why it can be such a difficult time. It’s their tests and projects, after all—so why would it affect you or other family members? The truth is, when a family member is going through a tough time, it tends to affect the rest of the family members and the overall “mood” of the house. This can be especially true if the family is particularly close and spends a lot of time together. Your child’s stress about finals season can lead to them being irritable, depressed, anxious, and fatigued. This may make them behave differently than they usually do. They may feel extremely overwhelmed, making them easily agitated and “snapping” at small triggers. They may also spend more time alone studying, which means less family time and many late nights. Every child will react to finals season differently, but it’s important to know the signs that your child may be struggling. When you recognize the signs, you can create a plan to step in and support them.

Tips for calmly supporting your child during finals season: 

• Create a soothing and quiet environment. Studying for finals in a loud, hectic environment can make the situation all the more stressful and overwhelming. To help your child succeed on their final exams and projects, try your best to keep the house quiet and calm. This means limiting loud music, avoiding arguments, and not having guests over. It may be a bit of an adjustment for you, but your child will appreciate you accommodating their needs during this busy time. 

• Ask them how you can support them. As mentioned earlier, every child is different. This means that their needs during finals season will also differ. While one child may be grateful for you running through flashcards and studying with them, another child may need space and time to study alone. Likewise, not all children will want to discuss their feelings about finals in depth. After studying all day, some wish to get their minds off their exams altogether. To know how your child wants to be supported during finals season, just ask them! Likely, they’ll let you know what they need and don’t need from you. If you’re unsure how to ask them, try this script: “I know finals season can be super stressful. I want you to know how proud I am of you for working hard and studying for your exams. Is there anything I can do to support you during this time?”

• Encourage and model healthy habits. Believe it or not, a child’s parent is usually their role model. This means that your child notices the habits and behaviors you practice, and may even adopt them. Pay attention to the way you act when you are stressed or overwhelmed. Do you panic, neglect self-care, and lash out at others? If so, your child may be getting the subconscious cue that these are appropriate reactions to stress. Instead, make an effort to use healthy coping mechanisms in response to stress. Try deep breathing, talking about your feelings, and practicing self-care. Not only may your child start to pick up these behaviors, but it’ll benefit your mental health and well-being as well! 

• Help them break down their tasks. Your child may be feeling overwhelmed or procrastinating starting their final assignments because they are unsure how to organize their tasks. If they are willing to collaborate, sit down with them and work together to create a list of priorities. Then, they can start knocking out each task on the list, little by little. Sometimes, it just takes seeing everything mapped out on paper to find the motivation to get started. 
• Avoid adding pressure. Although you may mean well by reminding them about finals and sending follow-ups on their progress on projects, this will likely only add stress to the situation. Likewise, this may trigger them and cause an argument between you two. Instead, try to build trust that they will get their assignments done in time. Instead of adding pressure, be a source of stress relief for them. Offer to watch a movie together after they’re done studying, or cook their favorite comfort meal after they take their exam. Your child will appreciate this more than you may imagine. 

Finals season can be a stressful time for the whole family, but by following the tips above, you will all get through it. Remember to be patient, kind, and understanding of your child’s situation. Good luck! 

To discuss how therapy could help you during this season of your life, please contact me or schedule your free 15-minute consultation.

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